Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Touchdown Pepperoni Bites

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Touchdown Pepperoni Bites: "Touchdown Pepperoni Bites"

Touchdown Pepperoni Bites

Touchdown Pepperoni Bites

What do men want?

So I ask, "What do men want?" I'm not really sure these days. Most of the men I have met lately, seem to want perfection. I am far from that so what kind of men do I attract? I recently had a boyfriend after my marriage ended who I think wanted someone with money and no kids. He has kids, but so do I and I think his plan did not involve other children other then his so it did not work for us. So not long after I broke it off with him, I started something with someone who I adore, but he too seems to be looking for something that I am not. I feel that I am a good person, who is kind and giving, but maybe I am just too nice to them. They take advantage of my generosity and then seem to go looking for someone else. What am I doing wrong? Should I just treat them like shit? Maybe then they will stick around? Everything seemed to be going so well and then all of a sudden he's telling me that we have to stop seeing each other. There were some circumstances with our relationship that sort of prevented us from pursuing anything more then what it was, but I won't go into that right now. Let's just say that we started something that probably should not have started but we were attracted to each other and we went with it anyway. Now I kind of get the feeling that he is using that as an excuse to end it with me because I feel he may have met someone else and wanted to let me down easy or maybe he is just ending it for the reasons that we should have never started in the first place. Sounds confusing but it all comes down to the fact that men these days seem to want the women to be perfect in every way and as you get older, perfection is the last thing we are. If only I could find someone who is looking for a best friend as well as a lover. Someone who he can be himself with and not have to change who he is. I look at the men that I have recently been with and I let them be themselves. I never asked anything of them other then their company and their affection. I want love in return just as I am willing to give my love to them. I still am not sure what men want, but if there are any out there that want someone who will treat them as they would want to be treated send me a message. Tell me what you are looking for.

Looking for Love

So in looking for love, I have come across many different men. All having a few of the right things and also not being the right one. In my life I feel that I almost had the right one twice. Those two were great men that I could not stop thinking about and to this day I have never forgotten. I can remember so many details about them and how it felt to be near them. I was close to marrying one of them, but for some unknown reason, it ended. The other one I was young and just not ready for marriage but he was a good guy. I've had my heart broken several times and I have broken a few hearts myself. It's very hard now being in my 40's and trying to find a special someone. I hate having to work at it, I wish it would just happen. I know that I have been alone for a short time since my last relationship, but I simply do not like being alone. I enjoy sharing my life with someone who I love and I enjoy knowing that someone is home waiting for me or that he is coming home to me everyday. I have my kids and family and they make my life almost whole, but there is one missing link and that is that one love that makes me complete. I hope he is out there somewhere looking for me too. I have so much love left that I can give that special someone and I am looking forward to finding that love. Looking for love? Where are you my love?

I want to read your story.

Do you have a story about a break up you experienced or a great love story, or even just a life lesson that you could tell me about? If you do post it here so I can read it and see what others have gone through.

Closure

So breaking up is hard to do. Yes it is. It was. Getting over it even harder, but very possible. Time of course helped and distance really helped, but I'm finally there. Because of the circumstances, the cheating and lying that happened in my relationship, it built up and built up inside me until finally I snapped. I kept trying to save the relationship anyway I possibly could. I even told myself we would stay friends, but how would I have been able to be his friend after everything he did. We continued to talk online, chatting everyday and emailing and I kept it going because deep down I guess I was still thinking we could work it out some how. I was just fooling myself and not looking at everything. During one of our last chat conversations, which started out civil, he had to go make a comment about something I had said in an email to him weeks ago and I thought we were done being angry and he started again with the stupid comments and I lost it. I finally just gave it to him. I told him everything that I knew, that he did not know I knew, and I told him what I thought of him, which was not pleasant. I basically tried my hardest to hurt him with words. That was the only weapon I had to hurt him with. He had already hurt me deep inside my soul so I just kept going and going like the energizer bunny and just let him have it. He turned around and had the nerve to tell me that I was horrible and told me that he would never forgive me for it. I laughed. What he did to me was far more hurtful then any of the words that I said to him. I basically stated facts and he could not take it. When I pushed him into the corner all he could do was try and find things to say to make me sound like a horrible person, however he couldn't really find anything true. I was the kindest person to him and his children and I always put him first. He was reaching but never could touch me. So now he hates me and will never forgive me. I can't do anything except laugh again. We are definitely over and I'm so happy about it. I let him steel so much of my heart when he was with me and now I finally got it back. The love I once had for him is gone. I know that deep inside I will always remember him and even still feel a little for him but only because there was a good person inside him sometimes and I was able to see that person come out once in a while but that person changed and became a lying, cheating, manipulator and I'm glad he is out of my life forever. Closure. I needed it.

When you least expect it

Is it possible to find love in someone who you thought of only as a fling? My fling is turning into something amazing. At first he was someone to pass time with. Someone to help me forget about him. Now all I can think about lately is my fling. What am I going to do? I don't think my fling feels the same as I do. I wasn't planning to feel like this and the more I see my fling, the more I want it to become more then just a fling. Does that make sense? I think I'm falling again and that is not what I intended to do with my fling. Maybe I should stop this fling? I can't! I am really having a genuinely fun time with my fling and I don't want it to end.