I want to read your story.

Do you have a story about a break up you experienced or a great love story, or even just a life lesson that you could tell me about? If you do post it here so I can read it and see what others have gone through.

Closure

So breaking up is hard to do. Yes it is. It was. Getting over it even harder, but very possible. Time of course helped and distance really helped, but I'm finally there. Because of the circumstances, the cheating and lying that happened in my relationship, it built up and built up inside me until finally I snapped. I kept trying to save the relationship anyway I possibly could. I even told myself we would stay friends, but how would I have been able to be his friend after everything he did. We continued to talk online, chatting everyday and emailing and I kept it going because deep down I guess I was still thinking we could work it out some how. I was just fooling myself and not looking at everything. During one of our last chat conversations, which started out civil, he had to go make a comment about something I had said in an email to him weeks ago and I thought we were done being angry and he started again with the stupid comments and I lost it. I finally just gave it to him. I told him everything that I knew, that he did not know I knew, and I told him what I thought of him, which was not pleasant. I basically tried my hardest to hurt him with words. That was the only weapon I had to hurt him with. He had already hurt me deep inside my soul so I just kept going and going like the energizer bunny and just let him have it. He turned around and had the nerve to tell me that I was horrible and told me that he would never forgive me for it. I laughed. What he did to me was far more hurtful then any of the words that I said to him. I basically stated facts and he could not take it. When I pushed him into the corner all he could do was try and find things to say to make me sound like a horrible person, however he couldn't really find anything true. I was the kindest person to him and his children and I always put him first. He was reaching but never could touch me. So now he hates me and will never forgive me. I can't do anything except laugh again. We are definitely over and I'm so happy about it. I let him steel so much of my heart when he was with me and now I finally got it back. The love I once had for him is gone. I know that deep inside I will always remember him and even still feel a little for him but only because there was a good person inside him sometimes and I was able to see that person come out once in a while but that person changed and became a lying, cheating, manipulator and I'm glad he is out of my life forever. Closure. I needed it.

When you least expect it

Is it possible to find love in someone who you thought of only as a fling? My fling is turning into something amazing. At first he was someone to pass time with. Someone to help me forget about him. Now all I can think about lately is my fling. What am I going to do? I don't think my fling feels the same as I do. I wasn't planning to feel like this and the more I see my fling, the more I want it to become more then just a fling. Does that make sense? I think I'm falling again and that is not what I intended to do with my fling. Maybe I should stop this fling? I can't! I am really having a genuinely fun time with my fling and I don't want it to end.

Thinkexist.com

I Like this quote
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

The ex

So prior to my recent relationship I was married to another man who cheated. We were married for 15 years, together 20 years, known each other for 25 years. He cheated once at 7 years of marriage and I gave him a chance. Then at 14 years again he cheated only worse because it was a close person to our family. Now he is in my life only because he is the father of our children. Since my recent break up he has been very friendly with me, flirting and from what I think he is trying to possibly start up something with me. NO!!!!! I do not see him that way anymore. I do not think of him in a loving way anymore. I think he is feeling regretful, but I just don't have it for him anymore. We have gone to dinner with the kids only and he flirts with me, but it's just not the same anymore. There was too much hurt and anger that he caused me and I will never be able to forgive him for that. I am over it and I can be nice to him and talk to him for our kids, but for me, there is no way that we will ever be anything more then just parents to our children together. I guess the grass was not so green on the other side as he thought it was going to be. I asked him why he is not with his love, and he said she is too busy on her side of the tracks. I took that as they do not have much of a relationship. I don't feel sorry for him. He deserves what he gets. I knew they would not end up being happy. They started out with lies and more lies so how can you have a honest relationship that begins like that. I'm better off without him. Now if I can just find that man that will be a loving and loyal man. I think I am a very loving and giving person and as long as I am treated with respect, I will love that man with everything I have. As for my ex, I will give him only credit for one thing. He loves his children.

My son

My son who has lived with me since he was born is now living with his father. I am having a difficult time with this because he is the love of my life. He was my first born and after the divorce he lived with me and we have never been apart until my recent break up with the one who I thought was it for me. My son did not care too much for him and I think our relationship was damaged because I did not see what he saw and I did not hear him or consider his feelings until it was too late. My son said I only thought of my boyfriend and not him anymore. I told him he was being silly and to never think that of me. I always put my children first and when I got involved with this new person, I actually did something for me for a change. I was happy in the beginning and even my son was OK with him at first, but things changed and my son did not like the changes he was seeing in me. I felt that no one was happy for me being happy. I felt that everyone was against my new relationship and that they did not know what they were talking about. That included my son too. If only I would have listened to him then maybe things would be different. I really don't know, but one thing I learned is always take your kids feelings into consideration when dating after divorce. We moved in together way too soon and my son had told me that he thought it was too soon. Once again I should have took his thoughts into consideration. He was 16 at the time. My daughter just thought about how fun it would be to have his kids move in so she was happy about it. I was in love, truly in love and I have not been in love for a very, very, long time so I had the blinders on. It's hard to learn by experience especially when it involves your children. The next time I will take my time and really get to know the person. One thing that is happening for my son's sake is that he is bonding again with his dad and I think maybe that might be good for him right now. The only thing that I fear is that he won't want to live with me again when I get back on my feet.

My September

In my September, he left me one Friday, told me he loved me, said I will see you soon.
I asked,"where will you stay tonight?, he said," camping with the kids". I thought it strange as he had no camping equipment. Never the less, as the night went on, I asked again in a text where they would be staying, but I got no answer. I went on the computer and what did I find, but emails from her to him. They were about their plans and their future they were planning together and details of the trip they were on at that very moment. He took his kids to meet the women he was going to leave me for. My September began with a lie. I had so much faith and trust inside and they were ripped out of me that September night. I tried to ask him why, but he had nothing to say. How could he say anything knowing that I now knew what he did. He was caught and had no way out of this lie. All he could say was, "Sorry". Sorry? Sorry was not going to cut it this time. That was the beginning of my departure in September. My September got worse. A trip that was supposed to be 4 days, became a week and during that week, I packed my belongings, which happen to be the whole house. I left him and his kids, with an empty house. It was the hardest thing I ever did because I did not want to hurt the kids, but it was his decision to hurt me and I was not going to live with a cheater and a lair any longer. So I will never forget My September.

Found these quotes on, yourlifehappiness.com

"I don't miss him, I miss who I thought he was"

"No Guy Is Worth Your Tears & When You Find The One That Is He Won't Make You Cry"

............................................My experience

"Give it time and you will get over this break up", everyone says. How many times did I hear that from everyone, and I hated hearing it. I thought my life was over and I would never love again at that moment and I wanted to tell everyone to keep their advise to themselves. Of course they were right. As the time has gone by, I do feel better about everything. I used to lay in bed at night and thoughts would just spin and spin in my head about what I did or did not do, or why he looked else where when I gave him everything he wanted. It wasn't me, it was him. He is just a chronic cheater. After finding out more information that I did not have at the time, I see now he will never change. He will not change for me and he will never change for anyone. I gave him my everything and he even admitted that he had no complaints. Time is what I needed and still need to heal.
Anyone have more advise for me?

Quote by Marilyn Monroe

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

Marilyn Monroe
American Singer & Actress
more famous quotes

Getting over

It is really hard to get over a break up and it's hard to say good-bye to that one love you envisioned as the love of your life. You start out so upset and depressed. You lose your appetite and just want to stay home and feel sorry for yourself. Eventually though, things do get better with time. The one thing that you have to do is Accept it. You didn't need that person in your life and there is a reason why they are no longer a part of it. Don't be afraid of letting the tears out. It's OK to cry. All the Anger that you felt for that person is OK too. You should be angry at what they did to you. Remember that you must give your heart time to heal. You will learn to smile again and you will be happy. The past is the past so forget about what you could have done to change what happened. Look to what is in store for your future now. Once you realize that it is over, learn from what has happened and maybe next time you will see the signs that tell you to run for your life before you get in too deep. You will be able to move on and not rush to fined someone else. LIFE will do it's work for you. You just need to have fun and be who you are. That someone that is out there just for you will find you.
Just me thinking out loud

Daughtry - Over You Lyrics

The words in this song fit

I 

Song to all the cheaters

Song Name: Then What

Artist Name: Clay Walker

Album: Rumor Has It

Songwriter(s): Jonathan Blair Vezner, Randy Sharp

Release Date: April 4, 1997

Label: Giant

 

 Well I got a good friend who's got a good life
He's got two pretty children and a real nice wife
But he never seems quite satisfied
I said I know what's on your mind
But you better think about it before you cross that line
The grass aint always greener on the other side

Then what, what you gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
And it aint really love and it aint really lust
You aint anybody anyone's gonna trust
Then what, where you gonna turn
When you cant turn back for the bridges you burn
And fate can't wait to kick you in the butt
Then what

Well I aint saying that looking's a crime
Well I've done my share from time to time
It dont mean that you gotta take that leap
When you're standin' on the brink
Before you jump you gotta step back and think
There's price for ever promise you dont keep

Then what, what you gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
And it aint really love and it aint really lust
You aint anybody anyone's gonna trust
Then what, where you gonna turn
When you cant turn back for the bridges you burn
And fate can't wait to kick you in the butt
Then what

Do what you want, do what you wish
It's your life but remember this
There's bound to be some consequences
Sneaking under other fences

Then what, what you gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
And it aint really love and it aint really lust
You aint anybody anyone's gonna trust
Then what, where you gonna turn
When you cant turn back for the bridges you burn
And fate can't wait to kick you in the butt
Then what

This song is very appropriate for my current break up.

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”

 

I like this quote which I found on Thinkexist.com
It does not give the source.

Relationships. Why are relationships so difficult

What is a Jerk, Rat or Bad Boy and why do women crave him? (13,314 reads)

« H E » Rebellious men and Bad Boy/ Jerks :: Women are attracted to? :: email

posted Wed, 09/01/10

Women tend to think of bad boy/jerks as naughty boys who are very sexy and great in bed. But what is a jerk really?
We label a man a jerk because he manipulates women’s feelings, actions, and attitudes after his facade has sucked them in. There is something about a jerk that can be very attractive. These men can act as charming and nice as can be. They know they look good. They have their routines down pat. These professional jerks are like fishermen. They regularly go on missions to get things from women by using their bait to get them hooked. Then they keep women dangling from their lines as they pick them clean. They use women because women want to fall for their facades.

Let’s face it. Being with a man a woman is really attracted to is the best in her mind. And when he says things they’ve really been wanting to hear, dying to hear, and thinking they may never hear, women become putty in their hands, without waiting to see if what they’re hearing is for real. These men are manipulators, used to getting their way. And when they stop getting their way they move on. They don’t feel any guilt for hurting her. They feel if she was stupid enough to fall for him then that’s just too bad for her. Many of these men want as many sex partners as they can get and they can get it.

And strangely, many women seem admire these men or at least want sex with them. In fact women seem to crave these guys.
   I found this comment on a blog in title Relationships and I liked this description of a Jerk
Can you tell that I am angry with men.  One in Particular.

I wonder if she knows?

I wonder if she knows what she is getting herself into?  I see what is happening to her and it is the same thing that happened to me.  He is making her think she is the only one for him and she is falling for every line he uses.  He has found something in her that he needs, but it isn't because he loves her, it is because she has something that he will benefit from now. Once he has used her and no longer is in need of her, she will end up like me.  What I know now, I actually saw it happening right in front of my eyes, but he had me mesmerized and I could not see what he really was.  He lies so well and he believes his own lies.  Never again will I let someone take advantage of me like that.  If I could tell her to run and get out now before she ends up hurt, I would. One day he will get what he deserves and I kind of hope I am there to see it.

Monogamy

Monogamy is meaningful. “Loyalty.” “Trust.” “Fidelity.” “Honor.” “Respect.” These are all just words until your actions either give them power and importance or deflate them. Monogamy isn’t meaningful because the church or government says so and it isn’t meaningful because you wore a pouffy white dress and said you wanted it to be meaningful. Rather, monogamy’s meaning expands with each day that you and your partner commit to it. And that’s some pretty powerful stuff.

I found this in an article on http://www.emandlo.com/2010/10/top-10-reasons-for-being-and-staying-monogamous/

Big issue with me but it was not I that could not stay monogamous, it was my partner.  I wish I could find a man that could stay monogamous because they respect and love me. 

Life quotes

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give .........Winston Churchill

You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth."
Source Unknown
Submitted by Anonymous

A poem by me-Martha Ann

You had my love
It was only yours
You threw it away
It's no longer yours
I told myself I would not miss you
I haven't found a way to forget you
You took my heart
I want it back
Please tell my heart
You did not mean it
You broke my heart so
Now just keep it
Hold onto it
As broken as it is
Maybe one day you will see
What you had in me
My heart and my soul is forever with thee

Another poem closer to me

Hidden

Hidden behind a smile there’s lonliness.
So painful, but I must express…
my heart played like a game of chess.
Vast emotions I can no longer suppress.
Mind games played to be my fault,
open wounds and you poured in salt.
Feelings of hate moving in my soul,
it feels as if I’m losing all control!!!!!
by Rachel Peck

Poem

HOPE IS A THING WITH FEATHERS
Author: Emily Dickinson
Hope is a thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings a tune without words
And never stops at all.
And sweetest, in the gale, is heard
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That keeps so many warm.
I've heard it in the chilliest land
And on the strangest sea
Yet, never, in extremity
It ask a crumb of me.

Anger and love

Anger and love. A combination of emotions that don't get along. Why is it that when you talk about your feelings of love, you get anger from the receiver and all you were trying to do was explain how much you love him?

thoughts, poems, songs, life

One fine day, you will look at me, and you will know our love was meant to be.  Song of choice today.

Song for my love life with him right now.

What do you do when you love someone who only loves you when they want to and not always? What do you do when he is telling you that he wants you for his future, but deep down you know he is thinking of something else for his future?

Forever & almost always-Kate Voegele with lyrics