My mothers birth flower-sweet pea

Mom I don't know why this is happening to you.  I see you lying in the hospital bed and there is nothing I can do to bring you back.  I feel helpless.  I wish you would have stayed on your medicine.  Maybe you would still be here, mind and body.  Without your mind, I don't see see you in that body.  Please come out!  Don't leave us yet.  There is still so much for you to see and your family misses you.  I miss you. I don't know how I will cope if you leave this world.  I'm sad. I'm sorry that I haven't been the best daughter.  I guess we all become selfish until something like this happens.  Then we are sorry.  Please stay so I can make it up to you.
I love you Mom

Blog of Author Karen Salmansohn | notsalmon

Blog of Author Karen Salmansohn | notsalmon

I read a tweet that Natalie Wood's drowning case is going to be reopened. Wow!  After all these years?  I'm curious because I am a big fan of Natalie.  See the following link.

www.theage.com.au/entertainment/sheriff-reopens-investigation-into-natalie-wood-drowning-20111118-1nmfi.html

Sexiest Man Alive......I agree that he is a good choice for this year. What I would do for one day with him.....hmmmmm :)
www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20315920_20544431,00.html

YouTube Challenge - I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy

The Boring Wine guy has a special offer!

What you do for your kids!

Well I have added another hat to wear in my life, and it is a soccer coach hat. My daughter loves to play soccer and she is very good at it. When I signed her up this year I of course said I would volunteer to help out in any way. My thoughts were more along the line of a team mom or assistant with snacks and emails and such, but our team was in need of a coach this year. No one would step up to volunteer and so the league saw that I said I would help in any way so they asked me to coach. At first I thought,"NO WAY!" I never played soccer, I was a softball player. I never coached before either so how could I be a coach. My daughter begged me to do it and with that look on her face, I could not say no, so here I am now with 4 wins and 2 losses under out belts, and we are having so much fun. I love it! I did not know how gratifying this would be for me. I have a great group of girls and I got very lucky that they all have some pretty good skills. I did so much research before we started so that I would be prepared to teach them the fundamentals. Since we started in September, my girls have improved so much. My smallest player was so intimidated when we started and now she is one of the toughest players I have. I feel energized every time I go out there with them and it helps me feel younger. That's a good thing. My daughter is so happy when we are out there and the smile on her face makes me feel like I'm doing something good for her. Being her coach has made me realize what we do for our children helps to make them become good people as they grow. I 'm loving this hat that I chose to add to my life! Life is good!

Stressful Life Events ...great insight !!!

Stressful Life Events ...great insight !!!

Another tattooed hunk that I just had to post-BeefCake!

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Branden Sipes - Searching (Original)

I came across this song by accident. I like it so much I thought I would share it.

A year ago today

You asked me to come over a year ago today
I can still remember the flutter in my stomach that would not go away
I watched your lips as you talked about your life
The smooth, full shape that kept my eyes completely hypnotized
I felt so relaxed with you
You made me feel wanted and needed too
The excitement I felt inside
I could not hide
What came next, to my surprise
A night of pure enjoyment
right before my eyes
Now a year later, we still play now and then
My heart now has grown fond of you
More so then I thought it would do
If only you knew what I go through
When ever I see you
Heart still flutters
My lips want to feel yours pressed against mine
The excitement never ends
And still, after one whole year

I Have hope that one day

You will ask me to come over and stay...forever

Death at a young age

Today I read on Face Book that an old school mate passed away in her sleep. She was 43 and had a son and daughter. I was not close to her, but I do remember her being a very sweet person. I can only imagine what her family must be enduring. It can happen at any given time to any of us, but it is just so sad when it happens to someone you know. Memories are what is now left of her life with us and hopefully she is in a place now where she can watch over her family and friends.
Brenda,
If you can read this, you were loved here on earth by so many people and you will be missed greatly.
Birth is a beginning
and death a destination
And life is a journey:
Your journey was cut short, but along that journey you were loved a great deal from all the proof on your face book. RIP

I had to do it and I feel awful and relieved

Well the end of my 2 month relationship has happened. I broke it off today with my old high school friend. It was very hard to do as he is a nice person, I just did not see a future with him. We were not compatible. I love sports, he doesn't. I love dancing, he doesn't. I am a people person, he is not. I felt that he had a possessive nature and that was a red flag. I don't know how he is feeling. I did it as nicely as I could. How do you really break up nicely? I was honest and I hope he will one day be able to be a friend to me. I know, no one wants to hear that after a break up. I truly think that this is for the best for both of us. Lately I have been on the other end of the break up process. I have not been in this position in such a very long time. I am glad I was reacquainted with him, but I am sad that it did not work out. I was really hoping for love to find me, but once again love is still searching for me. Where is he? I wish I knew. As for this relationship, I can only wish him well and keep hoping for that one relationship I am waiting for.

Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do - Neil Sedaka

Just as I finished posting my last story, a quote popped up on my blog and I thought it was so fitting for what I need to do.
"Wisdom is knowing what to do next; Virtue is doing it" - David Starr Jordan

I also remember this song by Neil Sedaka so I thought I would share it today. This video was from the year I was born. Isn't that so coincidental.

Old high school friend and dating continued

On June 17th, I posted a song that an old high school friend wanted me to listen to and I had mentioned that we were going on a first date. Well time has gone by, and it looks like I still have not found the man of my dreams. We have gone out every weekend since that night and each date has revealed characteristics that just make me think we just are not compatible. I'm very outgoing, and he is not. I love sports, he could care less about them. I love to dance, he won't go there. He does not like to be around too many people, I love to meet new people and I can strike a conversation with just about anyone. He is very sweet to me and loves to take me out places where he feels comfortable, but the more I get to know him, the more I see we are just different people. Physically he is not my normal type but I thought I would try someone different for a change. Not working! I have been trying to figure out if I should give him more time to break out of his shell because I have noticed that since he has been dating me, he seems to be trying things he had not done before, but he seems to have a fear of people he does not know or being around people. I have been advised by friends, family members and co-workers on what I should do and all of them have said I should end it now. He is not for me they say. I see it, but I guess I'm just being too nice. Now I am contemplating the break up. When and how? Any advise? I could use some good break up ideas that are easy on the heart.

Lady Antebellum - One Day You Will (lyrics)

I love the lyrics and the song by Lady Antebellum. A friend told me to listen to it as this friend knows my life story and this friend thought it might help. Have a listen

Dreams and Caviar Wishes

As I was reading my Face Book pages I came across this claw foot tub posted on Luscious and I fell in love. Remember the show Dreams and Caviar wishes? I used to love watching how the rich and famous lived. This tub makes me think of the luxurious life I'm sure anyone would love to have. I would love to have this gorgeous tub in my home, filled with bubbles and a bottle of champagne next to me, enjoying some quiet time. I love pink and the pink radio would just add a playful touch to the room. Maybe someday.....

Brian Ferry - Slave to love

I had a conversation with a friend from high school about this song and video his favorite movie. In high school we barely knew each other, but we recently have seen each other at some high school reunions though Face Book and now we are more then just old high school friends. I don't know where this is going, but we will see. Do you think he told me about this favorite movie scene for a reason? Hmmmmm? Dinner and drinks tonight for us is in our future. To be continued....

What's at the end of this rough road for me?

I have been traveling on this rough road as a single mom, struggling to make our lives better. On top of that turning 45 was very hard to swallow. Divorce was a blessing for my mind, but not so much for my life. I worked part time to help with extra funds, but now that I am on my own, part time is just not cutting it. Child support helped for a while until my ex lost his job. Now he is struggling with no job, no more girlfriend, loneliness, and wanting to fix what he can never fix again. I am fortunate that I have family to help me, but I can not rely on them forever. I think back and how I wish that I never would have depended so much on my husband. I should have been more self reliant. I wanted to be a stay at home mom as it was better for the kids. I never thought my marriage would end so at the time it was what I truly wanted for my life. Now depending on another man is the last thing I want yet I can't seem to get my life back on track. I should probably try to go back to school and get my degree. It couldn't hurt. I have hit a road block and I can't figure out how to get through it. What to do? Well, once I reach the end of this rough road, which won't be easy, I hope I will be able to say I did it on my own.

T-Fresh Look At Me Now (Hatermix)

I need a full time job!
I need a new car!
I need my nails done!
I need a pedicure!
I need a whole body massage!
I need some new friends!
I need a house!
I need a new bathing suit!
I need a tummy tuck!
I need a man that will love me and only me!
That's about all I think. Having these things would make me so very happy. Making these things happen, a little tough, but I'm working on making them happen. Goals...
My goals. I hope I can reach them soon.

First dating service date

Well, I finally used one of those online dating services and went on my first date. This guy had only one picture on his profile, but he sounded like a decent guy. He emailed me first and we chatted for about three weeks before meeting. The night that we planned this I had just finished watching my son's baseball game and I was rushing around getting ready to meet my so called match. On my way to meet him, I received a call from someone that I have been dating and he wanted to talk. I spoke to him on the way listening to all he had to say and all I wanted to do was turn around and go see him instead. See I really like him very much, but he is the guy who is not sure what he wants. He likes me, but is not ready to commit. I know, you're probably thinking I should give up on him, but I can't. I have tried and I just love being with him. I was going on this date to see if there may be someone else out there for me. I did tell him that I was on my way to meet someone and that I was not able to talk much longer. He said he understood yet he kept trying to keep me on the phone talking about us and other topics that we have in common. I finally had to tell him that I had to go and it was killing me to say it but I did. I was sitting in the parking lot on the phone and I could see the guy standing in front of the place. He had told me what he was wearing and boy did he stand out! He said he was wearing an orange shirt. It was orange alright. He looked like he just finish working construction on the roads or something like that. He was wearing work boots and like 2 or 3 gold chains. The chains just finished the look off.

I know I sound mean and shallow, but I just could not believe what I was seeing. I went through with the date and well he was nice but there was not a connection for me. Physically I was not attracted to him and the things he was saying to me sounded like he already had us married off. He was kind of pushy and was already talking about plans to go on trips and such with me. This was our first date and I don't think I was ready to hear all of that so soon. I feel bad because he was nice to me, but it just wasn't there for me. We had drinks and dinner and talked about what ever. My mind was not all there anyway so that probably did not help the date. He asked me if I would meet him in the morning to have coffee before work. I told him yes then, but I ended up canceling in the morning as I knew I did not want to go any further. I had to tell him that I did not feel a connection. A week later he text me and also called me. I did not answer but he did leave me a voice mail. He asked me if I felt a connection and if I wanted to go out again. I guess he did not get it when I said I did not feel a connection or maybe he was hoping I had changed my mind. I feel bad, but I just can not see myself with him so why would I lead him on. I wished him well and said good bye. So my first date did not go so well and no match for me yet. I think I know who my match could be, but that is another story. I am going to continue to try the service again. The only way I will stop would be if my friend asked me to be his girl then I would probably jump. I'm not sure what to do about him, but for now I will just keep searching for Mr. right, my match. The image I posted is pretty close to how he was dressed for our date. Oh and he is not a construction worker.

The ex boyfriend who broke my heart, sent me a message

I was startled by a tone set on my phone for my ex boyfriend. I had forgotten what it sounded like. It was so loud, like an alarm that wakes you from a deep sleep and scares the holy sh-- out of you. I thought at first, "why would he be sending me a text?" He just got married last Sunday, the day after my birthday, so why is he thinking about me? On my phone, there in letters that I was not expecting was his name. It was not a text, but an email. He said he came across something and wanted to send it to me, but needed my address. I was not sure what to think or do for that matter. I had given the address to him before but he said he lost it. I'm a bit curious as to what he wants to send me. He said to me that it must be a bit hard for me to deal with the whole situation between us and the hurt. I just responded with a comment saying that I was over it. Which I am. I don't even hate him anymore. It is what it is and no point in dwelling on it anymore. Wow! Did I just write that? Good for me!
I ended up giving him the address. Now the question is: What is he going to send me? It makes me wonder why he is thinking about me at all, as he has his new love and life away from me. I wonder...
Well when I receive it, I'm sure I will be back here writing about it so follow my blog to find out more. To be continued...

My child is growing up

Soon you will be off on your own
Off to face the world as an adult

My little boy is not so little anymore
You have so much ahead of you and I'm jealous
To be where you are right now not knowing what life has in store for you

It's exciting and scary at the same time
I know you will succeed
I see so much in you and I know one day you will have all that you desire

Take your time and choose wisely
You have so many choices
I wish you well in your endeavors
I love you son
You are growing up and I can't wait to see what you will become

My mom the saint.

My Mom is a saint. I was told that once by a holy man when I was a teenager. At the time what did I know or what did I care. Here this man was telling me this to try and show me why our mothers are important and how we should appreciate them. It was in one ear and out the other then. Now, I know what he meant when he said that. She raised us with very little money, but she gave us so much and sacrificed so much for us. As a mother of a teenager now, I know what she went through. Everything that I do now is for my children and I would give up everything I have to give it to them if they need it. She did that for us. I remember that things were not always great for her and that she probably would have wanted to run away from it all at times, but she never did. Even in her old age now, she is beautiful in every way and She makes me very proud to call her mom. I think back and see her there for me when ever I needed her. I truly believe that my mother is a saint and I love her.

My favorite guest at the Royal Wedding.

He looks fabulous as usual. He, meaning David Beckham. I admire him and Victoria. They make such a beautiful couple.

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: KARMA

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: KARMA

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: KARMA

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: KARMA

Old alarm clock brings back memories along with a blast from my past

So today I woke up to an email from an old boyfriend I had when I was 19 years old. Talk about a blast from the past. He was like the perfect guy. He was smart, catholic, came from a great family, good looking, tall, pretty much everything I was looking for in a husband. I was in love and ready to marry him. He, on the other hand was still in the having fun mode. We had very different work schedules that prevented us from being able to spend a lot of time and so we only dated for about a little over a year. He broke it off with me then and I was sad. I remember feeling very upset at the time. Today we exchanged phone numbers and talked for hours. I wanted to keep talking as he brought back so many memories. Good ones that I realized were a part of one of the best years of my life. He had such a great memory of our time together. He even still has an alarm clock that I gave him for his birthday then. He had such a odd schedule and always had a hard time waking up so it was the perfect gift to give him. He's married with children now and has two great kids from what he told me. We discussed how I felt about him then with the whole list of qualities and he said to me, "why didn't you tell me this then?" I guess at the time, I was afraid it might scare him off. It's one of those "What if?" moments and we will never know. I have always thought about him and how he was, and now I know. We had a great conversation, catching up and I'm so glad he found my email through MyLife.com We will probably continue to keep in contact as we had such a good conversation. It's a odd feeling to hear his voice again. He sounds the same to me. It was like it was just yesterday. He made my day a happy one.

After I wrote this blog I asked my old friend to send me a picture of the alarm clock that he still had and here it is. It looks just like the image I posted only used and abused. I still can not believe that it still works. I should send this to Sony.

Dating a younger man?

So what is with these young men that want to date older women? When ever I go on line I get these young men sending me messages wanting to friend me. What's wrong with the girls their age? I'm not sure if I could date a man that is 20 years younger. Maybe if he was in his 30's but not 20's. I love that I am getting the attention from the younger guys, but they are not looking for a relationship, which is what I want. Shoot maybe I should just date them for fun. Why not?

Another Tatoo hunk I love to look at.

Someone like you

I need someone like you
I am myself with someone like you
People say I need someone like you

Will you be my someone?
Please be my someone
I think I have found that someone

I know I found that someone

I found someone like you

The Bangles - Eternal Flame (official music video, Lyrics in describtion)

I was watching the movie Sweetest Thing and the song at the end of the movie was Eternal flame by the bangles. It brought back so many memories of the one man that I loved with my whole heart. Have a listen and tell me if this song reminds you of any past memory.

Pets give comfort

Pets need us to take care of them, but truth is, I think we need them to help us sometimes. They come to us when we are down, or in need of a hug. They know when your sick and stay by your side. They are your true buddy always, even when you are grumpy. Look at this dog who has adopted me. Her name is Chula and she loves to cuddle with me. When I get home she gets so excited to see me. Thanks to her for making me smile.

KARMA

I saw your wonderful proposal to her on the internet
I saw the life you are living without me now
I saw the article that states when you met her
I saw that it proves how you were lying to me and her
I saw how you are living a lie with her

How could you do what you did?
How could you lie to us both?
How could you live with yourself knowing?
How could you?

No matter what you do now in life, these lies will follow you
No matter how you deny to her that we were together then, it will come out
No matter how much you think you are a good man, when you look in the mirror, what do you really see?

Everyday of your life now, beginning the day you lied, you will regret it because KARMA always emanates

I just wish I could be there to see it unfold.

I miss you

I miss your face
I miss your smile
I miss your lips
I miss your kiss

I miss your hands
I miss your touch
I miss your arms
I miss your hugs

I miss YOU!

I want your heart
I want your love

I wish you loved me like I love you

Please let me in
Please let's give this a try
Please show me who you really are
I want you in my life

Are we Wise for starting this?
Are we Wise for continuing this?
What do you expect from this?
What can I expect from this?

Let's forget wisdom and just go for it.
I think we could really make it together
I feel so happy when I am with you
Let me fill your life and make it complete.

I miss you and I will be here for you when you decide it's time
to take the next step

What's next for me?

What is next for me? I often ponder over what path I will take next in this life as it is planted in front of me like wild flowers ready to be picked to display for all to see. What will be my next move? Will I pick the path with the flowers that bloom perfectly with their scent so fragrant they need nothing but a vase and some water, or will I choose to take the path of weeds that need to be pulled in order for me to see the wonderful aromatic flowers that will need attention for them to bloom to their fullest. It seems that I am always on the path that takes all my energy away and still I never seem to get to wear I want to be. Do I even know what I want and how to get it? That is a good question. One that I have no answer. I want a lot of things, but how to get them is part of the question. Working hard would be a start. After all I have experienced I think I need to choose wisely before I take that next path to where I will end up. Flowers? Weeds then flowers? Seems to me that taking the easy route would not be a challenge. I think I will welcome the challenge. It's more amusing that way. I look forward to what is next for me. Let's hope that I end up in a good place.

Something I just liked

Missing Piece

For years I have been fixing this mess of a jigsaw life.
Going through, and studying each piece.
Fitting them in, trying to find my base,
My corners.
And when I saw where something didn’t fit,
I found the problems.
And sorted them out
Things in the wrong place.
Some pieces didn’t fit.
And a few pieces were broken,
And needed to be fixed,
But over the years
I have gotten to the point,
Where it resembles the picture it should.
It is near complete, and I know the gaps.
I can see the shapes of the pieces that need to be found.
But I can’t see them.
I seem to be a piece missing.
I can feel that hole.
But can’t see where the missing piece is.

I am missing a piece.
And it is haunting me
Like a shadow,
That is still seen in the night.

Marc Robinson

my life's not so bad

Sitting here watching life happen around me I see my daughter working on her homework with a towel wrapped around her wet hair. She has become so independent and as I watch her I see a little of me in her. I realize that even though I do not have a somebody right now, I do have her and she is my life. She is here because I wanted her and I love everything about her. I love the smiles, the emotions, the craziness, and everything she is about. She makes me laugh and cry and I know she is a gift from God. If I ever find someone worth my time, they are going to have to be so loving to my baby. I love my life and it's not as bad as I thought. Yes I am without a partner to share this love I have for her, but I know one day it will happen and hopefully my daughter will love the person I choose to share this life with.

T-Fresh Real Talk

Hot hunks

OK so I happened along this blog of hot hunks and I just had to post one of the pictures. I have to say, I do love a man who looks good in Calvin Klein underwear.

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: My thoughts today.

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: My thoughts today.: "I'm not really sure why I thought of this, but it came to me today as I sat alone thinking about my old loves and I thought, I have never re..."

My thoughts today.

I'm not really sure why I thought of this, but it came to me today as I sat alone thinking about my old loves and I thought, I have never really been without a man for very long. I started dating at 15 years and ever since I have always had a man in my life. I think the longest was after my divorce and that was only a year. I don't like being alone. I enjoy having someone around to laugh with and to tease me about my air headed comments. When I was younger, 19 - 21, I dated several men not so serious, but after that I met someone who I kept around for about a year and then finally the man I wanted to marry for about three years. I recently have found out that that person is also now going through a divorce, and I sort of hope that maybe soon I can see him again. It's been twenty-one years since I have seen him and we mutual friends that have said he is not doing so well with his divorce. I don't know if he will ever want to see me again, but I am hoping for it. I wonder how much he has changed and if he even has any thoughts about us reuniting for a visit. It would be a wonder to waken an old part of my heart that has always been there for him. He has always been in my thoughts, even when I was married. I always have wondered how he was and if he was happy. The thought of rekindling any spark we may have would illuminate my life right now I think with would be enjoyable. Well if it is meant to be for us to meet again it will happen. I am hoping.

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Thinkexist.com

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Thinkexist.com: "I Like this quote “Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the st..."

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: I want to read your story.

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: I want to read your story.: "Do you have a story about a break up you experienced or a great love story, or even just a life lesson that you could tell me about? If you..."

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Looking for Love

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Looking for Love: "So in looking for love, I have come across many different men. All having a few of the right things and also not being the right one. In m..."

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: What do men want?

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: What do men want?: "So I ask, 'What do men want?' I'm not really sure these days. Most of the men I have met lately, seem to want perfection. I am far from th..."

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Touchdown Pepperoni Bites

Thoughts, poems, songs, life.: Touchdown Pepperoni Bites: "Touchdown Pepperoni Bites"

Touchdown Pepperoni Bites

Touchdown Pepperoni Bites

What do men want?

So I ask, "What do men want?" I'm not really sure these days. Most of the men I have met lately, seem to want perfection. I am far from that so what kind of men do I attract? I recently had a boyfriend after my marriage ended who I think wanted someone with money and no kids. He has kids, but so do I and I think his plan did not involve other children other then his so it did not work for us. So not long after I broke it off with him, I started something with someone who I adore, but he too seems to be looking for something that I am not. I feel that I am a good person, who is kind and giving, but maybe I am just too nice to them. They take advantage of my generosity and then seem to go looking for someone else. What am I doing wrong? Should I just treat them like shit? Maybe then they will stick around? Everything seemed to be going so well and then all of a sudden he's telling me that we have to stop seeing each other. There were some circumstances with our relationship that sort of prevented us from pursuing anything more then what it was, but I won't go into that right now. Let's just say that we started something that probably should not have started but we were attracted to each other and we went with it anyway. Now I kind of get the feeling that he is using that as an excuse to end it with me because I feel he may have met someone else and wanted to let me down easy or maybe he is just ending it for the reasons that we should have never started in the first place. Sounds confusing but it all comes down to the fact that men these days seem to want the women to be perfect in every way and as you get older, perfection is the last thing we are. If only I could find someone who is looking for a best friend as well as a lover. Someone who he can be himself with and not have to change who he is. I look at the men that I have recently been with and I let them be themselves. I never asked anything of them other then their company and their affection. I want love in return just as I am willing to give my love to them. I still am not sure what men want, but if there are any out there that want someone who will treat them as they would want to be treated send me a message. Tell me what you are looking for.

Looking for Love

So in looking for love, I have come across many different men. All having a few of the right things and also not being the right one. In my life I feel that I almost had the right one twice. Those two were great men that I could not stop thinking about and to this day I have never forgotten. I can remember so many details about them and how it felt to be near them. I was close to marrying one of them, but for some unknown reason, it ended. The other one I was young and just not ready for marriage but he was a good guy. I've had my heart broken several times and I have broken a few hearts myself. It's very hard now being in my 40's and trying to find a special someone. I hate having to work at it, I wish it would just happen. I know that I have been alone for a short time since my last relationship, but I simply do not like being alone. I enjoy sharing my life with someone who I love and I enjoy knowing that someone is home waiting for me or that he is coming home to me everyday. I have my kids and family and they make my life almost whole, but there is one missing link and that is that one love that makes me complete. I hope he is out there somewhere looking for me too. I have so much love left that I can give that special someone and I am looking forward to finding that love. Looking for love? Where are you my love?